childish things, convo's with higher self, empathy

the waiting room

♥  june 21 . 2017  ♥

I am lost, floating in an endless sea of possibilities  😵

“Do you see that blond girl, 14 years of age, on the schoolyard? Standing in the middle of that somewhat weird compiled group and looking alienated?”  👽

I see her and i remember her, the girl that feels hurt by harsh words and bullying. She friends the bullied kids, the outcasts and she gives them some ‘protection’. Coz, even though she is a shy, insecure girl and a bit of an outcast herself she is also a pretty girl and she attracts people easily. And she herself can’t figure it out, why are these kids attracted to her, what do they want from her ⁉️

“Yes i do dear Me, and this pretty girl asks herself: who am i, what am i doing here? Why do i wanna be friends with everyone and why am i a little weird? Why can’t i chose, cool or nerd? Rock or classic? Black or white? What do i want? I wanna fit in! … no no … i don’t wanna fit in! Shit! WHAT DO I FEEL? WHO AM I?” 🔛

“You always felt you were in between ‘camps’, and to BE SOMEONE you had to choose, but you couldn’t choose, so you felt NO-ONE. You attracted the nerds, the outcasts, the shy ones but also the cool ones, the never afraid ones. And they gathered around you and they gazed like sheep, maybe fall in love with you, but you don’t fall for sheep. And, f*ck, you can’t shake them off so you hurt them”  🙁

“Yes, little did i know, dear Me, i was a very confused connector. 😉

I am glad i know better now ☯️

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