Tag Archives: dear me

♥  august 20 . 2018 : total time 1h45m  ♥

This was a session i had with Kat (Katherine Martin Youngren). She is a gifted and loving person and she is great in retrieving soul fragments and a perfect guide for exploring past lives  ♥️ I did leave some parts out, not much but things i gotta explore a bit more. The setting : i am at home on my bed in Europe, Kat is at her home in America. We talk through messenger.

First she clears me / my chakra’s. Nothing really disturbing with my chakra’s, im quite clean, i ask Kat bout my solar plexus, nah, nothing to worry about. But, she says: this morning when i woke i had an ache in my stomach, maybe already connecting to your energy.

Then she clears my house. She is happily surprised, my house welcomes her, is friendly to her! That’s so nice! She tells me till now she never experienced this, being welcomed by a house so friendly. I feel so much gratitude and joy when she tells me and i tell her bout my contact with house, the walls, the floor, atoms. Later this evening i thank house for being so nice to Kat. House smiles 🏡

Paris : the killing

We won’t go through the lives i already know but see where we go. I tell her bout the killing (of my twin), i think it was Paris late 18th century, here’s the link >>  and when i am done she asks if i know who was the woman i killed. No i don’t so we gonna find out. We ask spirit to show me, and this is weird, i get an image of his mother (my twin’s). Kat then asks me to explore a life with this woman we call for now his mother. So i ask spirit to show me.

Stabbed in the back : the dark room

I am inside and it’s very dark, Kat asks me if i can find the light switch, lol, i cant see a f*ck. I take a few careful steps with my hands outstretched till i feel a wall, it’s rocky like some kind of cave or cellar. Am i locked in here? i ask myself. Slowly my eyes adjust and about 10 feet in front of me there’s the outline of a door, at the other side of the door is light and it’s shining through.

Kat asks if i am alone in the room. Well, i can’t see or hear anyone so i guess I am. But nope, i feel a presence. Now fear hits and i am shaking. And i feel someone behind me and it freaks me out, it is danger. I sense a woman in black clothes, an older woman, smaller than me and she is very hurt and angry. I know what is going to happen and Kat feels it too, i hear her moaning, like me. And there it is, the knife in the back. Suddenly the woman takes two steps and stabs me in my lower back, a few times. There is so much hate and pain. I fade away and die here.

Why did she kill you, Kat asks. I am sobbing a bit and feel the impact of what we did, of what happened. I took something of this woman, a man, her husband. By now, i almost forgot that this woman is his mother, this is where we started lol. And i am sorry i took her husband.

Kat asks me if this life was before or after the Paris-life. Mmmm, i don’t get the answer at once, i go to the killer (me) in Paris and feel his inner life, was he aware? Yes, hidden deep inside there is an unconscious knowing of this life. Okay. So it was before the Paris-life. That makes sense, Kat says.

Ana : the sun 🌞

Okay, we explore another life with this woman and at this point i decide to call her Ana.
I am outside, it’s a bright, sunny day. Green meadows, blue sky, flowers. Where is Ana, Kat asks me. Lol, i feel she is up there. But what is up there? Now i get the picture of the Fool card of the Tarot with a bright sun in the right corner and the sun smiles at me. Nah nah, the sun? Ana? A spirit? I am puzzled. Weird stuff this retrieving pieces 🙂
Okay, so Ana is the sun or maybe a spirit, she was very friendly in this life. Was she a guide maybe, Kat asks. Yeah, definitely feels so. I know her very well and she knows me.

A war : the plane ✈️

Kat asks me to go to a life with Ana and X (my twin, well okay, my supposed twin).
I am sitting in a chair, with some helmet on my head, i am sitting alone on the most right chair of a row of several chairs. And there are more rows before me, ah, it is a plane! We are waiting for take off. Ana is in some sort of pantry, she is dressed in white, some nurse’s outfit it seems. X is in combat outfit, just like me, somewhere in the ship. (plane / ship?). What is our connection? Ana and X are just acquaintances, Ana and me are kinda friends, i tell her much bout me and i like her, X and me are good friends, we know each other a lifetime, boy next door, is what i get. Nothing romantic. In this life i died when an explosion destroyed our house. I died in an instant, i have no memory of the dying. It was some war and we were in duty, all 3 of us. We also lived next door i think. Me with Ana? X next door. I could see a part of a street with a few houses. Time is hard to tell. Early 20th century?

A girl and boy on the run : the tube 👫

A life with me and X. It is dark and i am kinda moving forward, I can’t see where i am, there is a faint green light in the distance. X is behind me and is also moving. Ah, we are in some kind of tube, we are able to stand in the tube so it is quite big. And we are walking in this long, long tube, towards the green light.

Why are we here? Are we escaping something? Sure feels that way. I try to hear noises to locate ourselves and maybe others. Ah, we have escaped! From that big, dark house that we don’t like. I am about 12-14 years old and X is bout 5-6 years old. I have initiated our escape and X relies on me, we have to get out of here. Those people are awful! We both are very well dressed, i wear some kind of cloak, brown with a darker thread in it and my brown, curly hair is tied in a pony tail. X wears a black suit with a white tie and a white shirt, so tres chique for the little boy. We come from this really wealthy family (as orphans or something …?) but they are all liars and bad people.

We are at the end of the tube and there is a policeman with this light, he looks nice. I look hopefully to this man and he smiles … and he takes us right back to the house. X and me are being taken apart (X in the basement?). And then i got these punches in my stomach! Again and again and again till i lose consciousness and eventually i die. There is a big, bright light when i die and i feel so happy, i know i will be okay now. X will be okay now, i feel this the moment i die, we will be taken care off. The man who killed me was some farmhand. A brutal, ignorant man who likes to punch 12 year olds to death. X died soon after me, he killed himself, he jumped into a well or something, out of something .. It seems England to me, very English. There were horses and carriages, maybe early 19th century?

The Fall : the pyramid 🚀

At this point Kat asks if it is okay if we look into a life she and i had together. I am already dizzy of all these lives and connections lol, yep sure. I am standing in the middle of a pyramid shaped building. And it is so hard to focus, i can hardly hear Kat talk. I shake and spin coz of the energies in this building … wow! They go through me like mmm like energy snakes. Hard to describe and the whole pyramid is filled with it! Completely filled with some kind of energy strings that move likes snakes.

The corners of this building are rounded, not sharp and the top of the pyramid is also rounded. It is more like the top of a rocket. Are there more people with you, Kat asks. Ah yes, right in front of me, standing in a corner is Kat, she is my friend. Now i am looking left, there is this young man in a grey, striped suit, dark hair and he smiles, he is perfectly dressed. On the right of me, also in a corner stands an angel, white and bright, smiling yes. We are all smiling now coz something big is going to happen, i am going to fall or jump. I now realize i’m standing in the middle on a square spot and that spot is going to open and i am going to fall! It is my time. We say goodbye and i go! But first i pay Alcyone a visit, can’t leave without saying goodbye to my old friend :-). Am i going to Lemuria? The first time Gaia? This must be a long long time ago … in the future.

The twin sisters : the pond 💧

Another life with Kat. I haven’t even asked spirit to show me .. and Kat is already moaning, she is in pain! And my body feels so weird! It feels like something wants to get out and Kat is kinda crying: are you pregnant with me? she asks me. I don’t know, i wanna get out of this body! I feel like my skin is getting teared off my body. What the hell is happening? Are we .. are we siamese twins? i ask Kat. Feels like we are very very close and we can’t separate.

Kat moans, feels a cut around her waist and a cut in her left arm. I can’t place it.

Who are we, what are we? We are two blond girls, bout 4 years of age, cute twin girls. We stand at the edge of a pond, there is green grass and flowers, and i feel me standing in the water now. Ouch! You punched me on my nose! i yell to Kat. Lol, that was a surprise, really didn’t see that coming, i can feel the punch on my nose as i sit here on my bed! And i push her, a push in her belly. And she stumbles and falls into the water and … here i feel we are drowning, green, blurry water. While this was happening i had a lot of throat clearing.. asking myself why… but yes, we were drowning.

(I think we were twins and it was very crowded in our mother’s belly and we wanted to get out. Another thing: did the mother get a cesarean section? Could explain the cut Kat felt).

A frustrated drunk : the saloon 

Kat asks if there is something i want to clear, the root of something. I mention addictions. Okay. Ask spirit to show you the root of addiction (what is the vow connected).

I am outside, its drizzling and its grey and dreary, a muddy soil. I have a bottle in my left hand and with my right hand i hold on to the wooden pillar of the porch, so i wont fall. I can hardly walk. I just left the bar, more like a saloon, all wooden and the ladies .. well you know 🙂 I bought them booze and they were nice to me. But they wont get me no i will never believe a woman again! they are all evil and all liars and i feel really drunk lol and i have to concentrate to talk with Kat, weird. I feel alone and rejected and they are all the same and i wont marry and i am my own boss! Okay, Kat and me are both a bit puzzled bout this life, it doesn’t really explain something about addictions. Maybe i find out later. 🤔

So far  😯