22 Aug
childish things, my way home, twin flames

Ana : the ice queen

♥  august 22 . 2018  ♥
convo with Ana aka The Ice Queen

# wtf is Ana? #
fyi : Ana is a new energy in my life, so i am exploring

I ask Ana if she is Alcyone but i already feel she is not
i see them merging to one but they aren’t one.
She smiles: so you know, we are not one but we are very close. Like some monad? I ask her. No no, she laughs, that is 3D perception, forget the labels 🙂 it is beyond dimensions.

And me? How do i relate to you both? You belong to us, Ana says and laughs again, shes beautiful. Who who who .. am i.. i manage to calm my emotions and mind, don’t dare to feel that that. Yes, you are Vega, Ana tells me and Alcyone smiles, hey there, i’m back.

And i died, Vega died, i felt Her dying, me dying i guess. Thats why this Vega war haunts me lol. I died there, i loved her, i died there, again and again, this endless circle of dying, living, and living is dying and dying is living and and why has there be so much pain and so much war and why are people not nice mom and why and why ….

… dont you shut up and stop your questions little girl, you are driving me crazy, she says… and i look at the ground, my shoes they shine, my black shiny shoes, i love them, they love me

Mmm, she still exists in our star charts, the info about her dead has yet to reach us.
Funny thing, i know 😉

Alcyone – Ana – Vega
what trinity wtf?
guess Ana is a star too
merging? Alcyone smiles the moment i feel it
lol, they are twin flames

Love ♥️

18 Sep
childish things, convo's with higher self, my way home

the last pain

♥  september 18 . 2017 : the last frontier  ♥

* i am angry and i am tired – in Hermit mode *

“Alcy (i call him Alcy since he is no longer my master but an equal presence, and f*ck, he is jumping in and out of my belly so may i!) “Do i get IT all now?” i ask Alcyone, the Great Central Sun.

There is so much knowledge inside me, sometimes it’s almost too much. Joy deepens, pain deepens, and i know the hardest is yet to come. This connecting with ALL there is, with ALL of Gaia but also with my past (and yes I realize there is NO TIME, it is all happening now sigh).

“So Alcy, do i GET IT ALL now?.” 🤔

“Yes, prepare for The Last Frontier, The Last Pain there is”, Alcyone tells me. And he explains: “You are breaking down your walls, you want to be the authentic you, you wanna pull off your masks, you have to! And I am here for you. You are living your last life on Gaia, saying goodbye to Gaia gives you a lot of pain. And Gaia gives you all you need to know and all you want to feel and to experience.”

Yes, Gaia’s uploads into my body won’t stop, they increase and i am glad most of the information is subconscious to me, it will reveal itself when it’s time. This is the last connection, the empath’s nightmare lol. Feeling all of her/these energies, feeling a planet. And i am scared to death! The Last Frontier, The Last Pain, a genuine and loving connection 🙂

Lol, Higher Self is telling me to hurry up finishing my room so ‘we’ can move forward (i’m still busy in my new house). And i know i am procrastinating coz of fear, by the way HS.. ‘we?’ Am ‘I’ nowadays ‘we’? Yes, i am angry! Angry with HS, with the Universe, coz they tell me nothing at the moment. They ‘direct’ me, give me information but no solutions or clues. And i feel blank inside.

Why is my house a friendly old man with gray hair and a gray beard who sits beside me and smiles while i am crying and why is Bert walking across my kitchen in this suit he wears on that pic from ages ago? Ughh, Bert is the guy i thought was my father till my mother told me he wasn’t 🙁 Is he dead? Is this why he is showing up now? Does he have a message?

And these waves, uploads from Gaia? Why? What are they? They drive me crazy! And they increase, bout every 3-4 minutes they come into my legs, up in my body and i shake. Kundalini? HS won’t answer, the Universe won’t answer, Gaia won’t answer, Alcyone won’t answer and my house doesn’t answer, i am blank. 😳

Wait wait wait. And i feel old and i am sooo tired! I am here, recollecting.

Meditation : The little pink girl is in the temple of Telos, in Inner Earth. She has just entered, angels at her side, taking her hands. She walks, in awe and feeling so tiny between the two angels, to the middle of the temple and she asks: “Can i really open my heart now?”. The angels answer in silence yes you can.

“But it hurts, the world comes in and i have to protect myself and i DON’T WANNA protect myself any longer! I am so done with these walls around me!”

Brave little girl, i love you  ♥️

29 Jul
childish things, convo's with higher self, duality, my way home

the winds of change

♥  july 29 . 2017 . entropy is an illusion  ♥

in the forest with my dog
i realize, this will never die
i will be here forever, with my dog
this moment in time will always be 🌳

being nothing, not significant
yet being all
this is no duality
this is wholeness ☯️

yet, there’s the little pink girl
again,  relocating
and the trees wait so patiently
so silently, so peacefully

entropy is an illusion
i tear the leaf in pieces
can it be whole again?
entropy says no, i say yes

in fact, it already is whole
in a space without time and yet
always time, this leaf is always whole 🍀

SHE was always whole, but she didn’t know
she was torn to pieces
lost parts of herself
yet, she was never lost!

from entropy to quantum entanglement
a flow in time/non-time
source created entropy, chaos out of order
order out of chaos
and we are moving back

the girl is getting whole again
sitting under a tree with some giggling fairies
she writes : i gotta heal myself, the feeling of being worthless
i am powerful and it scares me as hell ‍♀️♂️

“Dear mommy, are we going to move again?”, the little pink girl asks her mom while she is packing their stuff in boxes. There is Bella, her favorite black doll, almost as big as the girl! “Yes yes, we have to child, stop nagging now, i’m busy”. And she remembers, they were always, always moving, again, a new home. 🏚️

“Dear Higher Self, are we going on the move again?”, i ask HS while he is hoisting the sails. He turns his bald, blue head and shows me his big smile. “Yes yes, we have to, the time is perfect. Pack your stuff and lets ride these waves”. Ok ok, here we go again, sailing to New Earth. 🌎

“Dear Alcyone, i know i promised to go and i really like to, but i will forget bout you! How can that be? I can’t imagine ME without YOU.” The great central sun smiles with his big heart: “little one, we are always together, try to remember. Now go, we will meet again in Lemuria”.

02 Jul
empathy, Zero Point & time

are you experiencing a human body?

♥  july 2 . 2017   ♥

“Alcyone, is this the way it works?,” i ask HIM, “me, waiting for you, you don’t show, me getting nervous, thinking maybe i AM crazy? What the f*ck do i imagine! Communicating with a sun! What if HE never shows again? What if, what if .. lol, now you laugh, but it’s not fair! You know! You are a celestial, ascended being, i am not”. “Aren’t you, little one? Really, don’t you see?” Alcyone replies. 🌞

I go inward. The wind is whispering, the birds are singing, the sun is setting and i am alive! The waves rush in, energies are of chart, the moon is rising and i am alive! Atoms form, atoms disintegrate, inertia, entropy and duality. AND I AM ALIVE! 🐦

I take a walk in my neighborhood, dense populated. Houses packed tight together. And i wonder where they come from: the houses, the doors, the bricks, the gardens. I feel sorry for them, coz they can’t move, they are stuck in this particular spacetime. 🏡

I ask: how did you get here? One house shows me a long journey of floating through the universe, floating, floating, no specific direction, just bliss. Till, something manifests, THEY are drawn to this place, get caught and transformed. 🌀

IT is stuck now, with trillions of other ITS/THEY. Time is solid, very static, trapped! “I can’t move, i can’t leave, i have no choice”, IT tells me. “Nope you haven’t,” i tell IT, “you are a house now, you have no free will. But some day, you will die and you will crumble and you will become a single atom again and you will wonder off as the solitary I Am presence You Are. Till then, be a home”. 🙃

And see, Alcyone smiles again 😊

20 Jun
childish things, empathy

my little one / the frog

♥  june 20 . 2017  ♥

“My little one, what are you thinking about?” He asks. Yeah, Alcyone calls me ‘my little one’. And now i wanna know, why He calls me this way? 😳

“Am i little?” i ask Him. “Yes, you are a little human,” He says and smiles, “but in fact you are great. And I call you ‘my little one’ coz you care so much for the little beings. The crawling busy insects, the beautiful spiders, slow turtles, the caterpillar in the middle of the busy road, ah and yes, the frog you have beaten to death. 🐢

Yes yes i remember, me beating a frog to death with a wooden stick. Coz, yes it was awful to do but i HAD TO DO IT! PERIOD❗

I found the frog, on a bicycle path. At first i didn’t know what i was looking at, but yeah, f*ck, it was more death than alive, organs out, leg almost torn off, but the head and arms were still a little moving.

So i thought, yeah, it’s awful and i can cycle on and leave ‘it’ here but .. i couldn’t. I guess it was too late already, by staying here, giving this moment attention and to really look at the wounded and torn apart frog and to decide what to do, what could i do? And not to look away in pain or anger or disgust. And to walk away from pain. Whatever pain. The frog’s pain, my pain. What’s the difference anyway? 🤔

Soooo, i found me a sturdy stick, and hit it and hit it and hit it. I don’t know how many times i hit him, or her, i had to be sure he was dead. And of course i beat him to heaven ❤️

Lol, i intended to write about something completely different, but after the first sentences it just ‘changed’ and this real life story came into my memory. Alcyone pranking on me, thx pal. Transmuted this one too 😊