follow me to the bottle and we’ll figure it out

nothing really matters

♥  april 11 . 2019  : Madonna : nothing really matters  ♥

# please watch the vid, it is beautiful #

trying to define .. darkness, light, duality
and for some time now
sometimes …

i know
nothing really matters
nothing will ever really matter
coz
all will always matter
whatever!

what if
all is the same
all is
just
all
there is

what if
all is true
and every one
is right

what if
all is wrong
and there is
no
God
just
US

what if

there is
no god
and
you are
the CREATOR

imagine

mother of atoms

Baudelaire

♥  november 1 . 2018 : Angus & Julia Stone – from the album  ♥  Snow

your house, my house
any little reason to come around
your future is in my capable hands
but you have to understand that i don’t mean it

all i want to do is run around to your place
fix a drink and pretend that we are ok
we can hide in the cover of the storm
you’re the lightning and i’ll soon be gone

follow me to bottle and we’ll figure it out
i will leave my troubles by the river

your house, my house
running out of reasons to come around
and the part of me that wanted to believe
is making friends with all of my enemies

all i wanna do is run around to your place
and fix a drink and forget that this will all change
pretend that we are ok

follow me to bottle and we’ll figure it out
i will leave my troubles by the river

an offering to appease the ones we love
an opening to fall into your arms

plassen zwart

♥  september 12 . 2018 : poem 1987 ♥

plassen zwart
vertroebelen
badend bed
plassen zweet

dat wat was
verscholen in het moeras
borrelend wachtend

de geest verweven
geduldig leven
sissend smachtend

plassen zwart
vertroebelen
plassen zwart
van geest

pools of black
blurring
bathing bed
pools of sweat

what once was
hiding in the swamp
bubbling waiting

the mind intertwined
temperate life
hissing yearning

pools of black
blurring
pools of black
my mind

heart beats slow

♥  august 23 . 2018 : Angus & Julia Stone ♥

Well, I heard you were (you were lying)
About how brave you are
Well, I heard you were (you were still trying)
Trying to get back to the start

And we won’t let it into the kitchen
No, we won’t let it into the house
No, we won’t let it through the front door
Cause it’s burning her pretty little heart

I’m gonna miss you
Gonna miss you, girl
And all of the things we could have done
I’m gonna miss you
I’m gonna miss you
And all of the things we should have done

You say I move so fast
That you can hardly see
You say I move so fast
How could you be with me?

But my heart beats slow
But my heart beats slow
But my heart beats slow
But my heart beats slow

Well I wish you, wish you well
All the best
Well I wish you, I wish you well
All the best

koorts & tranen

♥  august 22 . 2018 : i wrote this in 1987  ♥

koorts & tranen
‘n immense kou
pale blue eyes + stromen tranen
zweet & pijn
‘n niet weten
and i don’t care + beken zweet
misselijkheid
kapotgebeten lippen
‘n verschrikkelijke spierpijn
+ ‘n foetushouding
time for you is up
honger + hartstocht
‘n kapotte keel
baby come and free the hurricane
wit + dood
‘n behaaglijke rust
kotsend overeind komend
+ duizelig
a sweet tau
destructief
don’t leave me here alone
a sea of jelly
gewond and i’m not human

fever & tears
an immense cold
pale blue eyes + flowing tears
sweat & pain
not knowing
and i do not care + pools of sweat
nausea
broken lips
a terrible ache
+ a fetal position
time for you is up
hunger + passion
a sore throat
baby come and free the hurricane
white + dead
a comfortable rest
rising up vomiting
+ dizzy
a sweet tau
destructive
don’t leave me here alone
a sea of ​​jelly
wounded and i’m not human

selfie selfie selfie

crash & burn

♥  june 26 . 2018 : Angus & Julia Stone  ♥

Won’t you take me Be my love next door
When you run out I can bring some more
Won’t you throw down This heart of mine
And I’ll roll out My stretch of time
Oh my stretch of time

Billy opened Up a can of worms
So I lit up Smoke and let it burn
Will you come back If I turn and run?

Will you come find me If I crash and burn?
Will you come find me If I crash and burn?
Will you come find me If I crash and burn?

Look so pretty When you brush your hair
Won’t you be so Kind to take me there
Will you come back If I turn and run?

Will you come find me If I crash and burn?
Will you come find me If I crash and burn?
Will you come find me If I crash and burn?

Won’t you take me Be my love next door
When you run out I can bring some more
When you run out When you run out

decapitation

♥  june . 2018 : i killed my beloved  ♥

Its dark, evening, night. I walk through the streets of Paris, downtown somewhere.
Narrow, moist streets, it rained earlier. Im in a sort of rush, im uneasy.
I hide in my black cape and black hat. Head between my shoulders. Rush to my favorite bar.

I am in an alley now, its all rotten, dirt, anger, danger, darkness, whores and scum.
My eyes are everywhere: left, right, left, right, left, right… and ahead.
Yes, there she is. That piece of betrayal, delusion, luring me into.. what?

She’s standing in a portal, in front of a house, a door.
People passing by, also in a rush, no one looks at any one! All scum with secrets!
Hiding in their capes and hats, so called gentlemen puh!

Yeah, that woman! That whore who thinks she is the world!
Standing there, so full of herself.
Im 2 steps away now, i grab my knife.
No one is watching! All busy with their own mischief.
I take 2 steps, into the portal, and stab her in her belly, one time.

No one reacts or notices it.
Anyway, its just a woman, some stupid whore.
I feel relieved, my rush is gone and i feel great!
I walk some streets till i reach my bar.

Yeah, theres my table, at the end of the bar.
And some mates, how nice!
I wanna drink beer now, i feel so good.
Coz im a man, and im in charge!

I sit at my table with some guys and i get drunk.
And im bragging about how i killed that whore.
Ain’t i great guys!

Well, they aren’t really friends i guess, coz they catch me.
And they get me to jail.
And they bring me to the guillotine.
And i feel the blade slicing my neck, but its not sharp enough.

My head is still attached to my body, with still a piece of flesh connected to the body.
Fuck, even this i screw up!
I slowly fade into red, then black, then nothing…..

After decapitation, i came in a black black world and i sank in redness.

wings

♥  march 27 . 2018 : translation  ♥
wings
and gates and the fire tr
umpet and the dragon o
n the treasure with anot
her firetrumpet and will
the gate open the guard
s seem nice and friendly
but theres something si
nister                theres fire
+
wings
an obscured path
theres ice and remorse
purification
+
maybe some time

it is dark
+
devilish
the abyss lurks
it is scabies
hellish
+
morbidly observed

terrene
it feels terrene
the fissure beckons
i feel warmth
+
death
my body like
lead

to hell and back

♥  march 22 . 2018  ♥

i feel something big is coming
i know why i refuse to meditate

this is a crucial stage of my healing proces, the deeper, the darker i guess
love it, come and fight me!! i am a warrior 😳

* I love you to hell and back, we said while we had to let go of each others hands, I was you and you were me, male/female, does it really matter anyway? entangled past lives, can’t tell yet which is which … we loved, we murdered, we grieved, we hated, we died .. we were passionate * 😩

yes, something big is coming and I was scared, now I am curieus, I refuse to meditate but I am closer to spirit, source, HS, his HS, angels than ever before, and it freaks me out sometimes

* nono, they tell me, it is not us, not us not us, not him not him him him it is you is you you : my date 2018032219:04 : your spirit, our flashing fiery fast spirit, the spirit they judged as childish, naive, not responsible, not wanting to see the truth …

it killed you killed your spirit
guess what? we are back!

i am me
i am free

LSjjm6:3210

the only one

♥  march 3 . 2018 : Angus & Julia Stone – Draw your swords  ♥

See her come down through the clouds
I feel like a fool
I ain’t got nothing left to give
Not a cent to lose

So come on Love draw your swords
Shoot me to the ground
You are mine I am yours
Lets not fuck around
Cause you are, the only one
Cause you are, the only one

I see them snakes come through the ground
They choke me to the bone
They tie me to their wooden chair
Here are all my songs

So come on Love draw your swords
Shoot me to the ground
You are mine I am yours
Lets not fuck around
Cause you are, the only one
Cause you are, the only one

Songwriters: Angus Stone / Julia Stone

possession

♥  december 27 . 2017  ♥

I can’t remember when i saw this movie for the first time, it could well be 1981, the year Possession came to the movie houses. At that time they were quite obscure, not really mainstream stuff. Possession is made by Andrzej Zulawski while he and his wife were divorcing.

The first time i saw it, i was in complete horror. I couldn’t say anything about this movie, coz i didn’t know what to think anymore. So confusing! I managed to get this movie, this confusion and total chaos, out of my head and went on with life.

Well, guess i thought i moved on with life, coz deep under the surface 🌀

Yes, i began to appreciate this movie and although it also repelled me and i didn’t know what to think of it, it was able to confuse me, sneak into my head. How and why? Why did it trigger me this much? I was fascinated!

Okay, i saw it a second, third and fourth time.

I mention the movie because to me it is about awakening, duality, the lowest of people and the best of people. I intent to write more about it. 🤔

IMDb about Possession
Wikipedia about Possession
Critics round up