an empath’s path

soul retrieval : darkness

♥  march 25 . 2019 .   ♥

Soul retrieval with Katherine Martin Youngren. March 25th 2019, 10:00-11:00 am CET. This is a transcript of my second session with Kat. Here is the link to the first session.

We connect through Messenger, Kat is in America and I am in Europe, we say good morning and Kat is already coughing severely. She tells me: I got up half an hour ago, got me a coffee and i started to cough and feeling very tired… I tell her half an hour ago i sat with a coffee and had to cough severely and cry, i felt very tired yes. But it is not a cold or cough, she tells me. No, i tell her, it is my throat chakra.

Ok, what lives do i want to look at? Kat asks me. I tell her that i feel that no one thing is more important than another, this is the state i am in … do i wanna know bout my DM? Bout Ana? Bout my mission? Is one thing more important than another? I am in limbo …

Kat tells me the story of the caterpillar that is transforming into a butterfly. And it is the cocoon that is pivotal, what is happening in there. It is an inside job, the caterpillar kinda dies inside the cocoon, it has to die so the transformation can be complete. I tell Kat i already felt like dying before, i die again and again. This is another death. We never stop to heal, she says.

So, Kat first cleans me, my chakra’s, aura. And there is much darkness that is attaching to me and inside of me. Kat tells me i have to shield myself when i go outside and when i come back home i have to clear the shield before entering. I take the pain and darkness from others, can be friends, relatives but also totally strangers, i take the darkness with me.

I can shield however way feels good to me, white light, violet flame. I just have to set the intention. Awareness of this is key i suppose …

Then she cleans my house and again she experiences something she never has before: house is trying to heal me, it has taken my pain and darkness, it is in the walls and the floor. And now house is also stuck with this darkness and isn’t even able to say hello to Kat, like it did in the earlier session. For your information: in the former session my house greeted Kat so friendly! Is was so cool it did that, Kat never had a house greeting her so friendly.
So, Kat and me clear house together, we ask house to release the darkness, let it go. After all the clearing i do feel better 🙂

Kat tells me: you know that all of our lives are happening at the same time (there is no time, it is a 3D concept), so this ‘state’ of darkness is playing out now, somewhere …

The Sacrifice 🌸
Kat suggests we are going to look at a life where the darkness attached to me: So i ask, with my hand on my heart: Spirit, can you please show me a life where the root of darkness attached to me? And it gets darker and heavier. I sink, slowly i sink and it is getting darker. I keep sinking, slowly. Where am i? I am pulled down by something, what is it? Something is tied to my feet, dragging me down. It is a rope. And something heavy is on the other end of the rope. And i sense sand and shells, water, little fish. Yes i am in water.

So, who tied the rope to my feet, who wanted me dead? Where was I when this happened? I was on a boat, on a river, there was a party. And i wanted to help the people there, give them light. So i sacrificed myself, thought that would help them so i killed myself.
Now, while sinking and sinking deeper into this dark, i feel the earth around me, i feel the flowers, the trees, the clouds, the grass, the water, and they feel me. They get my light and i see their light. Kat asks me: does it benefit the people on the boat? Mmmm, no it doesn’t …. they aren’t aware of it at all … my suicide was in-vain.

# afterwards
this experience must have had a great impact, i know it has .. the strange thing was, it didn’t feel like drowning, how i expected it to be. The light i was giving to what surrounded me and the light that was given to me by the life around me .. was so serene. There was no struggle to survive, no pain, only compassion. The humans that were partying weren’t aware but all other life was

The Fairy 🌳
Kat asks me: What do you wanna explore now? Another life with darkness attached or a first life where you connected to nature? I choose the latter and i ask spirit to show me. Now i am in a huge ancient forest, huge trees, green leaves, lushly. I am flying through the forest, visit trees, they are friendly. Lol, i am a fairy 🙂 Kat asks me: where is Kat? Can you ask where Kat is? So i ask spirit: Spirit, can you tell me where Kat is? Hard to tell, i get the image of a huge tree. She is the tree or inside the tree? Kat tells me this is ancient Greek and she is a nymph. Now, here sitting on my bed and yet flying around in this magnificent forest, i can feel my crown chakra light up and sparkle. I tell Kat, she feels her crown too.

# afterwards
I had to Google nymph. Suits you dear Kat
There are several kinds of nymphs.
Dryad, also called hamadryad, in Greek mythology, a nymph or nature spirit who lives in trees and takes the form of a beautiful young woman. Dryads were originally the spirits of oak trees (drys: “oak”), but the name was later applied to all tree nymphs.
Later Kat tells me she was the nymph Daphne (see Apollo and Cupid) and she was able to go in and out of trees and water.

Baby Darkness 👻
We are going to look to the first life where i was a guardian of darkness.
It is dark, hard to grasp what is happening, it all is .. feels .. rudimental, i hardly move, just am, big dark .. something. bit moving bit no-moving. im formless. Ah, Kat says something, far far away. Far outside of me. i am totally in myself. She asks me: are you a mother? Ah, a mother! Kinda, there are little things moving inside me, little black square boxes, bout 5 i sense. They move in my chest and they quarrel! And they move and they are loud and they are quarreling, annoying! The one with the loudest mouth is pressing against my chest bone. Auch! It hurts. Inside and outside is all quite dark, like just before dawn.

Kat asks me to send the pieces of darkness out, into the world. I don’t have to carry them inside of me, i can release them so they can do their work in the outside world, stir up some that need it (lol), they can come back and will come back. It is ok, i can send them out again, with love and care. That is not rejection. While i am letting the boxes out they change colors, the black changes into soft colors.

During this ‘past life experience’ i cry quite some. Coz this is what is playing out in my life now, knowing that i can’t reject darkness, i feel too much sorry for it ..

sounds crazy maybe yes i know. It is what it is, there is too much rejection already, too much not seeing, but i see, i feel, and i can’t reject. Nothing. There is neither good nor bad, neither darkness nor light, neither me nor you… All is one and nothing can be rejected, not on the long run.

So yes, darkness comes to me, it attaches to me. Some of it is mine, most is not, lol. And i don’t have to keep it, it won’t benefit me to keep it. I can love it, maybe transform some of it, then let it go.
Kat tells me a part of my mission is to protect nature, another part is giving darkness a voice, a place. Also, i am a keeper of an archangel essence, Lucifer’s. Why doesn’t that surprise me 😈

Side-note: the second angel who presented itself to me in 2016, was Ariel, the angel of nature. The first was Ismael, who helps to open the heart. With thanks to all ‘my’ angels.

To Kat, whom i highly recommend if you consider to explore
With a big hug and much much love sista!

my mother

♥  march 11 . 2019  ♥

my mother
gave birth to me
when she turned 17
just 3 days earlier
on March 24th

she was a child
she was hurt
i didn’t
i took her

took her life

yeah she
when she grew
not wiser

she was

told us



and i love her

she died

♥  december 17 . 2018  ♥

She died tonight, in my living room, in front of the television.
She managed to get there, don’t know why.

Earlier today she fell out of her web, could not manage to get up again.. elas Genie 😔 Yesterday she managed though, she fell 2 meters, fell on the windowsill and got up again, struggled to reach her web, high up in my window. And she did!

Yet, today, she did not manage. She fell. And then fell from the windowsill on the floor. I put her on the windowsill once, but again she fell.. i let her .. die her own dead. Find her own place to die.

Bye Genie. She was ‘my’ spider for over a year. Sitting in her web which grew steadily every day. I wonder now, how old do spiders get?
I will miss her 😔

man van turf

♥  october 15 . 2018 : poem 1987 ♥

natte turf
ijzerrijk begraven
het lichaam trekt
kille haven

de inhoud is
bewaard gebleven
en heeft tumor


de hersens gezeefd
tienmaal geleefd
hemel bezeten

poems are hard to translate because of rhyme and rhythm, yet i give it a try  🙃

wet peat
iron rich buried
body heat
cold harbor

the content is
well kept
and has given


the brain sifted
ten times lived
heaven possessed

little little toddler

♥  august 29 . 2018 : little little toddler  ♥

I am crying while telling my inner child that it’s okay, that she wasn’t rude. And she knows she wasn’t rude and now she understands why this toddler song made her sooo mad and sooo sad 🙁

She is bout 3-4 years of age, playing in the small garden of her grandparents. And they sing this toddler song and she gets so angry and then so sad and the little girl yells: no! no, I don’t tremble on the flowers, I don’t do that! And this song was sung for years and every time she got upset and she didn’t understand why these grown-ups could say these terrible things about her.

Well, here it is 🙂

klein klein kleutertje
wat doe je in mijn hof
je plukt er alle bloempjes af
je maakt het veel te grof

o mijn lieve mamaatje
zeg het niet tegen papaatje
ik zal zoet naar school toe gaan
en de bloemetjes laten staan

little little toddler
what are you doing in my yard
you are picking all my flowers
and make it quite a mess

o my dear mummy
please don’t tell daddy
i will go to school now
and leave the little flowers

i fear the day

♥  august 10 . 2018  ♥

I am going to oil some wooden trays and i fetch the sunflower oil. And for a moment i am afraid the tray is going to tell me it wants chestnut oil 😯

Oh yes, and then another tray is yelling: “And i want olive oil!”

Lol, this didn’t happen, not today anyway … but i fear the day they are going to tell me what they want

Lindow man : 1

♥  april 2 . 2018 : the Lindow Man  ♥

When i was an art student, i was fascinated by the discovery and story of the Lindow Man. The preserved bog body of a man discovered in a peat bog at Lindow Moss. I collected newspaper items, pics, used it in my art, in collages and poems. Now he is back  🙂

more bout the Lindow Man
on Wikipedia
in the British museum

to hell and back

♥  march 22 . 2018  ♥

i feel something big is coming
i know why i refuse to meditate

this is a crucial stage of my healing proces, the deeper, the darker i guess
love it, come and fight me!! i am a warrior 😳

* I love you to hell and back, we said while we had to let go of each others hands, I was you and you were me, male/female, does it really matter anyway? entangled past lives, can’t tell yet which is which … we loved, we murdered, we grieved, we hated, we died .. we were passionate * 😩

yes, something big is coming and I was scared, now I am curieus, I refuse to meditate but I am closer to spirit, source, HS, his HS, angels than ever before, and it freaks me out sometimes

* nono, they tell me, it is not us, not us not us, not him not him him him it is you is you you : my date 2018032219:04 : your spirit, our flashing fiery fast spirit, the spirit they judged as childish, naive, not responsible, not wanting to see the truth …

it killed you killed your spirit
guess what? we are back!

i am me
i am free


a visitor

♥  march 16 . 2018  ♥ 

in my kitchen . crying . despair . loss . pain
there is a presence . nah not Bert
i cry and i am so tired . someone is here ?
i wanna ask who is here now
but i am too afraid to ask

i just cry . looking at my Higher Self for support
without words i ask HS : who’s here ?
you find out . he replies
i am so scared . trying to speak and ask
who are you ? but i can’t

who … who … w … w …
im just too scared . this new presence
too much for me to cope with

finally . after minutes . i manage to ask
who are you ?
lol . it just disappeared !
i was too late 🙁

ok . i know why i was so afraid
i know who it was

a convo with pain

♥  january 3 . 2018  ♥ 

finally i sit with Pain . connecting with it . getting to know it  😩
and i sit with it . and we are silent  🐞  we just sit and be
respecting each other . sometimes looking sideways
finding each others eyes

“Yes”, it says: “i am pain and i suffer, i bring suffering and
you were afraid of me, you rejected me and
i hid in the darkest corners of your being
peeking through the cracks of your perceptions
watching you, watching me.”

“Now i sit with you”, i reply: “i am tired
tired of fighting, tired of fighting you, fighting me
tired of rejecting you, rejecting me
tired of being afraid of you, afraid of me.”

and we smile to each other, we have grown, we are wiser and kinder  💖

* Thank you for being here with me, for respecting me, having compassion with me. Thank you for sitting here with me, in silence. Winter storms outside us, inside us. *

With love 🌹

Robert Monroe : quote

♥  november 20, 2017 : i am more than my physical body  ♥

Robert Monroe was a successful and distinguished business executive, dedicated family man, and noted pioneer in the investigation of human consciousness. He invented the Hemi-Sync® audio technology and founded The Monroe Institute®, a global organization dedicated to expanding the uses and understanding of consciousness >> more info The Monroe Institute

because i am more than physical matter , i can perceive that which is greater than the physical world . therefore , i deeply desire to expand , to experience ; to know , to understand ; to control , to use such greater energies and energy systems as may be beneficial and constructive to me and to those who follow me . also , i deeply desire the help and cooperation , the assistance , the understanding of those individuals whose wisdom , development and experience are equal or greater than my own . i ask their guidance and protection from any influence or any source that might provide me with less than my stated desires

in my angels i trust

♥  november 3 . 2017 : but get the f*ck out of my belly  ♥

A trip to Zero Point 

Sitting on my couch, hearing a song .. and crashing: pain, belly shaking, harder, whole body shaking. Oh no, here we go again! I need a wall and have to lie down, in my staircase, for Christ sake 🤬

Shaking harder, my head, uncontrollable, my belly feels like exploding. Theres something in there. And i cry: “Get out of my belly!” I am scared now and i want it out!

* i realize i have angels and i ask: Metatron, Michael, Ariel, Uriel, Raphael, Zadkiel, Sandalphon, help me please, what is this?! They come and calm me. I form a pillar of light in my body, from Gaia (help me Gaia, please) to my crown chakra, out to the Universe. And activate the Rainbow Bridge. * 🌈

Get out of my belly! Till, a huge sun rises from out of my belly. Wtf, is this good or bad? It’s a bright, friendly sun, no problems. But something has to get out of there, i WANT it out. I let my sun grow, expand, and i examine it. Angels around me, forming a circle, i am safe, lol, just checking, sorry 👍

There is something hidden in there. Now i sense: don’t be scared, don’t be angry, ask it to come out. So i do: will you please come out? I won’t harm you. I ask twice. It comes out, some undefinable, softly greenish glowing form, out of my solar plexus and going up, kinda sneaky lol, as if it doesn’t want to be seen. NO WAY, I think and i am scared again, it wants to go to my heart! The angels tell me: let go, embrace it, hold it. ♥️

Mmmm, trust lol? I guess YES. I sense: hold it as you would hold a baby, it wants to be held. And i calm down and i take this baby and hold it as if it was my own.

Some minutes later, i have calmed down (what the fuck was this? Whats happening? Can YOU all please tell me why? etc etc). Okay: first thing they give me is my twin, he was this entity, a very young child. Then, my belly is my power center, my sun is huge, he was hiding in my sun. Why? I GAVE him control over my solar plexus and it IS attractive. But what he WANTS (needs ?) is to reside in my heart. And So Be It 🙏

Lol, i guess i don’t have to meditate anymore, it comes natural. And, when they want! Free will? I really doubt that! Mine is going down the drain 😮

In WE we trust 😍😘

Dinky the cutest sucker

Dinky, the cutest sucker

♥  october 8 . 2017 : my insecure hoover  ♥

“No no, you don’t have to be afraid”, i tell him while he stumbles across the threshold of my bedroom. 😁 “But i don’t know what to do”, he tells me. So i tell him what he is supposed to do and that he is perfect for me. “No problem, you know what to do, don’t worry”.

Ah, this insecure him is my new hoover, a little, cute, light-weighted, red hoover. Perfect for my little home. I bought it some days ago and started to call it little one,  it had to have a name. 🤖

Now, while dragging him over the threshold on his little wheels, he tells me with a small voice: “Uh, my name is Dinky”. “What did you say?,” i ask “i can barely hear you”. “I am Dinky”, he says. “Okay okay Dinky, welcome. But why Dinky?”❓

He gives me an image of his assemblage in the factory. One of the workers at the end of the assembly line says: “Okay Dinky, there you go!” ✔

Well, by now i’m quite used to interact with living and dead things : bricks, houses, flowers, raindrops, mountains, suns, at the core it’s all atoms, quarks and eventually energy. So why not connect with a hoover. ⚛

Wow, i didn’t know what the name Dinky meant so i googled it. It means something like cuddly or cute. And he sure is.  ♥️

my house talks to me

♥  september 12 . 2017  ♥

Bout a month ago I moved into my new home, a small apartment in a (rebuild) monastery. Long story short: i lived here some 20 years ago, in another part of the building. At that time we discovered a leyline crossing our building. I met my husband here, married here, moved with my hus and now divorcing and returning to this lovely place. Okay, what’s new? My House Talks To Me 😳

I am doing some carpeting in my bedroom and kick a piece of wood out of the way, mmm, IT doesn’t seem to like that. ‘You don’t want that?, i ask. ‘Who wants to be kicked?’ it answers. Okay okay, I interact with flowers, trees, bricks, houses, why not a piece of wood? ‘Yes, why not?’ i sense. “Beautiful stones with a history, telling a story, you enlightened humans can accept that, can you accept a piece of wood with his own history?”

I look around in this room and connect, MY bedroom. I FEEL the wooden roof, the floor, the walls. And i cry! Suddenly. WE ARE ONE, WE ARE CONNECTED. And this place talks to me, now: ‘Finally, you know now I am here, YOU are here, I wanted YOU here, you belong here, now at his time, this place. Yes, you discovered 1 leyline, there is another line, just crossing the first, you are now above this crossroads of leylines, this grid point, you are where you are supposed to be, finally. I asked you to come, coz the time is NOW. And you listened, you felt my call.

And i know, since months i have this strange energies running up my legs, they come from Gaia. And i wondered where they come from and why. And now it seems related to this place. I cry and cry and i ask this presence to stop now, i can’t handle anymore. Yes, i knew there was something with this peculiar place, I have to be here. Well, i am here .. but .. lol .. i am exhausted!

Okay, i think this is enough, to me at this moment it is enough.
Actually there was more stuff but i edited this one. At this point it is even too weird to me 🤔

Love ♥️

the Hermit

♥  august 2 . 2017 : a friendly raindrop  ♥

I am rediscovering the Tarot, now in an intuitive way. Years ago i studied the cards, using books to understand the messages. Now messages flow more. So, since we are so busy clearing old crap and with these strong energies around, i started with spreads on pics. And while being bombarded with waves, hidden knowledge came to the surface. 🔒

The spread: 4 pics, 4 different ages. The one with the biggest impact was the youngest me, it seems she is/was the wisest. Being born under the sign of Aries, with the number 9 the Hermit, she was born with Empress capabilities. The very moment i draw the Hermit, i burst out in tears. I draw my ‘own’ card, the card i feel so familiar with, and in a split second i know: you knew, i tell the girl in the pic, you knew it all.

♥️ little one ♥️ i know what my life is going to be, i know i will meet Him in this lifetime, i know what i came here for. Im standing outside, it drizzles. A raindrop comes along. I see it and IT SEES ME. It smiles at me. I cry and thank the drop, for seeing me. It thanks me for seeing IT. And the waves keep pouring in. 🌀

“Did you doubted she knew?,” Higher Self asks, while i close the curtains (f*ck, this late already, i gotta sleep!). “Well HS, i didn’t really know but i was wondering for some time now what she wanted to tell me.”
“Well, yes she knew all: who she was, why she came, that He would come. Coz they made this arrangement, long long time ago, when Lemuria fell. The both of them. To be there/here, the time was right. The time is NOW.”
“Thanks HS, but i really gotta sleep now. Goodnight.” ♥️

And goodnight little powerful one, im proud of you. 😊

are you experiencing a human body?

♥  july 2 . 2017   ♥

“Alcyone, is this the way it works?,” i ask HIM, “me, waiting for you, you don’t show, me getting nervous, thinking maybe i AM crazy? What the f*ck do i imagine! Communicating with a sun! What if HE never shows again? What if, what if .. lol, now you laugh, but it’s not fair! You know! You are a celestial, ascended being, i am not”. “Aren’t you, little one? Really, don’t you see?” Alcyone replies. 🌞

I go inward. The wind is whispering, the birds are singing, the sun is setting and i am alive! The waves rush in, energies are of chart, the moon is rising and i am alive! Atoms form, atoms disintegrate, inertia, entropy and duality. AND I AM ALIVE! 🐦

I take a walk in my neighborhood, dense populated. Houses packed tight together. And i wonder where they come from: the houses, the doors, the bricks, the gardens. I feel sorry for them, coz they can’t move, they are stuck in this particular spacetime. 🏡

I ask: how did you get here? One house shows me a long journey of floating through the universe, floating, floating, no specific direction, just bliss. Till, something manifests, THEY are drawn to this place, get caught and transformed. 🌀

IT is stuck now, with trillions of other ITS/THEY. Time is solid, very static, trapped! “I can’t move, i can’t leave, i have no choice”, IT tells me. “Nope you haven’t,” i tell IT, “you are a house now, you have no free will. But some day, you will die and you will crumble and you will become a single atom again and you will wonder off as the solitary I Am presence You Are. Till then, be a home”. 🙃

And see, Alcyone smiles again 😊

bleuberry juice

♥  june 30 . 2017  ♥

“Tell me, how did you manage,” i ask her as i visit her in her treehouse, between the strong roots of a magnificent, friendly tree. “I didn’t manage,” she says “and you know, stupid question! You were there, with me, hurt and confused. WE couldn’t manage remember” ❓

I am in meditation but i can’t focus and i drift away into a wood. I lose the way and am drawn to HER HOME, the sacred place of my inner child. I love this place, animals everywhere, a white owl checking out who is visiting. A giant spider with a face totally not aligned. A snow white magical unicorn she calls Nieve. 🍄

As i now sit at her table, drinking blueberry juice, a bit fermented of course 🙂 i ask her: “how did you manage the loss, the pain, falling apart again and again and again”. 🍷

“I felt stripped,” she tells me, “bare to the bone. Layer by layer getting peeled off of me. Peeled? Torn! Each loss, each pain, skin after skin, mask after mask, till nothing was left of me.
Just as you feel now.
But we are transmuters dear ME“. ⚛

“Thank you, yes! I mean, we did manage, didn’t we?”

the waiting room

♥  june 21 . 2017  ♥

I am lost, floating in an endless sea of possibilities  😵

“Do you see that blond girl, 14 years of age, on the schoolyard? Standing in the middle of that somewhat weird compiled group and looking alienated?”  👽

I see her and i remember her, the girl that feels hurt by harsh words and bullying. She friends the bullied kids, the outcasts and she gives them some ‘protection’. Coz, even though she is a shy, insecure girl and a bit of an outcast herself she is also a pretty girl and she attracts people easily. And she herself can’t figure it out, why are these kids attracted to her, what do they want from her ⁉️

“Yes i do dear Me, and this pretty girl asks herself: who am i, what am i doing here? Why do i wanna be friends with everyone and why am i a little weird? Why can’t i chose, cool or nerd? Rock or classic? Black or white? What do i want? I wanna fit in! … no no … i don’t wanna fit in! Shit! WHAT DO I FEEL? WHO AM I?” 🔛

“You always felt you were in between ‘camps’, and to BE SOMEONE you had to choose, but you couldn’t choose, so you felt NO-ONE. You attracted the nerds, the outcasts, the shy ones but also the cool ones, the never afraid ones. And they gathered around you and they gazed like sheep, maybe fall in love with you, but you don’t fall for sheep. And, f*ck, you can’t shake them off so you hurt them”  🙁

“Yes, little did i know, dear Me, i was a very confused connector. 😉

I am glad i know better now ☯️

my little one / the frog

♥  june 20 . 2017  ♥

“My little one, what are you thinking about?” He asks. Yeah, Alcyone calls me ‘my little one’. And now i wanna know, why He calls me this way? 😳

“Am i little?” i ask Him. “Yes, you are a little human,” He says and smiles, “but in fact you are great. And I call you ‘my little one’ coz you care so much for the little beings. The crawling busy insects, the beautiful spiders, slow turtles, the caterpillar in the middle of the busy road, ah and yes, the frog you have beaten to death. 🐢

Yes yes i remember, me beating a frog to death with a wooden stick. Coz, yes it was awful to do but i HAD TO DO IT! PERIOD❗

I found the frog, on a bicycle path. At first i didn’t know what i was looking at, but yeah, f*ck, it was more death than alive, organs out, leg almost torn off, but the head and arms were still a little moving.

So i thought, yeah, it’s awful and i can cycle on and leave ‘it’ here but .. i couldn’t. I guess it was too late already, by staying here, giving this moment attention and to really look at the wounded and torn apart frog and to decide what to do, what could i do? And not to look away in pain or anger or disgust. And to walk away from pain. Whatever pain. The frog’s pain, my pain. What’s the difference anyway? 🤔

Soooo, i found me a sturdy stick, and hit it and hit it and hit it. I don’t know how many times i hit him, or her, i had to be sure he was dead. And of course i beat him to heaven ❤️

Lol, i intended to write about something completely different, but after the first sentences it just ‘changed’ and this real life story came into my memory. Alcyone pranking on me, thx pal. Transmuted this one too 😊

silly woman

♥  june 2 . 2017 . 23:56 : are you male or female?  ♥

I walk in this beautiful monestary garden, it is summer, and i am enjoying the flowers.
I love the little ones most, the ones that struggle to survive amongst the bigger plants and trees.
And i feel drawn to a small group of little flowers under a tree. pastedGraphic.png

I ask them : hello there, can i ask you something? Oh, ok, they say.
Lol, it sounds a bit like they are annoyed.
I ask : are you male or female? I got a sense of not understanding, so i ask : are you a man or a woman? pastedGraphic_1.pngpastedGraphic_2.png

One replies : what is man, what is woman? We don’t know these words.
So, i try to explain to them, in a biological way, but i sense im getting nowhere. pastedGraphic_3.png
They are confused, and i feel sorry i got them confused.

The speaking one tells me : no no, we are all one, we are the same, you got it wrong! pastedGraphic_4.png
Lol, now they got me confused! 

At this point i think : you silly woman, you are talking with flowers!
And i go on with my walk. pastedGraphic_5.png

This happened bout 20 years ago, long long time before my awakening.
I remembered this conversation just now! Silly woman pastedGraphic_6.png