my little one

a session with Lucifer

♥  march 18 . 2019 ♥

😈 session with Alyssa (Desert Hempwork) and her guide Lucifer

# march 27th, my birthday, i move into the Devil’s year. So, i feel this reading is very suitable for me

Note: I am/was reluctant to share this one. Coz, a few months ago i was dying to know more bout my DM. Now i realize my own path is more important and I am shifting my focus, I hope I am lol. But as Spirit told me: you own nothing, and I already gave insights in past life sessions, so here is a part of some weird story and some more info about Ana, a very high energy that visits me sometimes. #

I message Alyssa >

First answer >

# My first question gets confirmation so that’s cool! The answer to the second question surprises me pleasantly and yet I feel heavy. I know for some time now that our inner children are important, I got images of them and I started to work on my own inner child, again. But since I am detaching from the twin flame label and focus on me, ahum 😁 I don’t wanna violate his energy, his space, although I can’t really shut down the 5D connection. It is delicate lol. #

More from Lucifer >

# So on point! Getting my power back and take control of it, not being afraid of it, as I was for sooo long. It is returning. Also I know now what this Devil’s year is bringing me: my full power 😜 and pleasure, coz the inner children is also about fun and it is badly needed! #

# Some clarity: I don’t wanna ask / know about my DM but Ana is an energy I am very interested in. To me she is an entity I have an important connection with, twin flame stuff or not, our bond is unique. So yeah, while in this session Ana popped up and I was just curieus. #

# Obviously there is much more information, but I have not yet access to it 🤔 #

# Yeah, wings are here lol 🙏 #

Thanks Alyssa and Lucifer! So i just take off then 😎

Childish Things

Few days later, pondering bout inner child stuff. After some hesitating, I decide to go visit my inner child in her tree house, between the roots of a giant tree 😊 It’s a bit dark inside, gloomy. I tell her to put some trunks on the wood stove. She seems distracted lol, hardly reacts. I ask her if she wants to visit His inner child and reluctantly she goes ..

First impression (where is she drawn to): he is in a corner of his room, with his back turned to the little girl, there is no green, no nature,  he won’t response so she leaves.

Second scene (where does she finds his core): she finds his core in the middle of this corn field where the sun is shining gently and the softly shining gold color of the corn is every where. His core energy is in this shed he build for himself. It has a roof of corn leaves and three walls of corn stalks. But he isn’t home.

She returns to me and I feel a bit guilty I asked her to go and she got rejected, again.

Another visit a few days later. I find my inner child in my heart (she moved!) and we decide to go together and take another look at his inner child (I won’t let her do this alone this time). We take a long walk from my heart through veins and other stuff 😲 till we come to a square room where his inner child is seated, legs crossed, in the upper right corner. Back turned to us and he is doing something with his hands, we can’t see what. Then he turns to us, yes he does notice us, and he turns around to show us. He has a beautiful white shiny orb in his hands, playing with it. Throwing it in the air and catching it. He smiles at us and turns back to the corner to go on with his ‘work’. Okay we go, don’t wanna disturb him.

Okay, I have no intention to push or to violate another person’s energy field and I have my own stuff to attend to. So, I decide for now not to visit him again. I feel like an intruder and I don’t like that. My inner child and me take the path back to my heart.

A few days later I have a session with Kat in which she finds that I hold an essence of the archangel Lucifer.. which again is so fitting.

my mother

♥  march 11 . 2019  ♥

my mother
gave birth to me
when she turned 17
just 3 days earlier
on March 24th

she was a child
she was hurt
i didn’t
i took her

took her life

yeah she
when she grew
not wiser

she was

told us



and i love her

little little toddler

♥  august 29 . 2018 : little little toddler  ♥

I am crying while telling my inner child that it’s okay, that she wasn’t rude. And she knows she wasn’t rude and now she understands why this toddler song made her sooo mad and sooo sad 🙁

She is bout 3-4 years of age, playing in the small garden of her grandparents. And they sing this toddler song and she gets so angry and then so sad and the little girl yells: no! no, I don’t tremble on the flowers, I don’t do that! And this song was sung for years and every time she got upset and she didn’t understand why these grown-ups could say these terrible things about her.

Well, here it is 🙂

klein klein kleutertje
wat doe je in mijn hof
je plukt er alle bloempjes af
je maakt het veel te grof

o mijn lieve mamaatje
zeg het niet tegen papaatje
ik zal zoet naar school toe gaan
en de bloemetjes laten staan

little little toddler
what are you doing in my yard
you are picking all my flowers
and make it quite a mess

o my dear mummy
please don’t tell daddy
i will go to school now
and leave the little flowers

Ana : the ice queen

♥  august 22 . 2018  ♥
convo with Ana aka The Ice Queen

# wtf is Ana? #
fyi : Ana is a new energy in my life, so i am exploring

I ask Ana if she is Alcyone but i already feel she is not
i see them merging to one but they aren’t one.
She smiles: so you know, we are not one but we are very close. Like some monad? I ask her. No no, she laughs, that is 3D perception, forget the labels 🙂 it is beyond dimensions.

And me? How do i relate to you both? You belong to us, Ana says and laughs again, shes beautiful. Who who who .. am i.. i manage to calm my emotions and mind, don’t dare to feel that that. Yes, you are Vega, Ana tells me and Alcyone smiles, hey there, i’m back.

And i died, Vega died, i felt Her dying, me dying i guess. Thats why this Vega war haunts me lol. I died there, i loved her, i died there, again and again, this endless circle of dying, living, and living is dying and dying is living and and why has there be so much pain and so much war and why are people not nice mom and why and why ….

… dont you shut up and stop your questions little girl, you are driving me crazy, she says… and i look at the ground, my shoes they shine, my black shiny shoes, i love them, they love me

Mmm, she still exists in our star charts, the info about her dead has yet to reach us.
Funny thing, i know 😉

Alcyone – Ana – Vega
what trinity wtf?
guess Ana is a star too
merging? Alcyone smiles the moment i feel it
lol, they are twin flames

Love ♥️

some trapjaw age

♥  april 18 . 2018  ♥

het was licht
die nacht
de autolampen waren aan
zou op wacht gaan staan

het was donker
die dag
de maan was nogal nukkig
toen de oorlog kwam
was iedereen gelukkig

ging op pad
het geloof voorgoed verloren
toen de wereld was
kon zij niet meer bekoren

it was light
that night
headlights shining bright
would stand guard

it was dark
that day
the moon was rather stubborn
when the war came
everyone was happy

took a hike
losing faith forever
when the world became
she could no longer charm

wrote this decades ago for my youngest brother

do you believe in unicorns ?

♥  january 28 . 2018 : matters of the heart  ♥

❤️ am i . was i . heartbroken ? guess so

# they tell me : remember . it is all illusion #

“Do you believe in unicorns?”, she asks the little girl. “Yes i did! Of course i did! But then the world showed its ugly face, people just didn’t care bout unicorns. I told them! They wouldn’t listen.

# and they tell me : remember . it is all illusion #

Now she cries, this little, fragile child, showing me her tears, her pain, this f*cking freaking hard harsh world. How could she cope? How could she? Yes! Show me! How can i?! Yes, heart broken. Can you survive a broken heart?

# they say : it is all illusion . you know who you are #

“Ah, you are here,” i tell HS and give him a smile 🙂 Yeah, thought so, you are back”. “Nope,” my higher selfs replies: “YOU are back”, and he smiles. Of course , in the end, i may be stubborn lol, but then you havent met my HS!! Yes yes HS who broke my heart? Former lovers? Parents? Gaias suffering? YOU name it okay?!  I accept it 🙂 with love 🌸😎 You know, my HS is ALWAYS right! I have to admit 🙂 “Who broke your heart?” he asks. And in some weird way, i have to be honest with him lol. Not Who… but What .. if some one broke my heart, it would be me, lol of course!

@ stationary
come on love, draw your swords, shoot me to the ground 🙂
diversions diversions .. WHO WHO WHO WHO
F*<k Y¥o
Don’t u dare 2 G0!
anyway, the Unicorns are back 😎
to be continued 🙂

Love ❤️🌷❤️

poor abandoned me

♥  october 24 . 2017 : resurrection of a light carrier ♥

I just started meditation and my heart begins to ache, sharp pins. Where is this hurt? I start to cry and i sense: “What do you lack?” Huh, what? “Acceptance? Money? Love? A loving mother?” I think of my childhood. Lol, still cleaning up old crap 😥

And now light shows, i lack light! And i feel angry, they took my light! “Who took your light?” the presence asks. Mmmm, i did, i have to admit. “Why did you do that?” I was not worthy of it, not worthy to carry it with dignity and courage. 🔙

I shut my own light off because no-one saw it, no-one wanted it and i felt rejected. And i failed to spread the light of Creation so i was unworthy of carrying it. My connection with Source was gone, no one to share my light with, i was alone, yes yes abandoned, poor me. Soul comes in now, gently, and i invite her in. “All your lack is lack of light, nothing else”, and she smiles. ☯️

The Pleiadians step in (the healing pyramid of light), a small group. And He is there, the first time i see Him as a Pleiadian 🙂 Yes of course! Before Lemuria we had lives! Together, He comforts me, gives me trust, and we melt in some way for a short time.

Then my soul shows me: in Zero Point there is no time and as you know, only the NOW exists. All your so called lives are now. The more you reach ZP the more you will experience all your lives becoming one. And the ability to influence all.

At this point the meditation (voice) takes over again and im drifting away in an orange, golden orb. The sun just broke through the clouds and shines through my closed eyes. After the meditation Higher Self tells me: “Take your time, don’t be so hard on yourself, okay?” 🙄

And yes, my big yearning becomes sooo clear to me: i want the only person that i can really, truly share my light with,  the one that resonates at the exact same frequency.
with love, may the Light be with you

I had a link to the vid on youtube but the vid is gone. It was one of my favs …


the last pain

♥  september 18 . 2017 : the last frontier  ♥

* i am angry and i am tired – in Hermit mode *

“Alcy (i call him Alcy since he is no longer my master but an equal presence, and f*ck, he is jumping in and out of my belly so may i!) “Do i get IT all now?” i ask Alcyone, the Great Central Sun.

There is so much knowledge inside me, sometimes it’s almost too much. Joy deepens, pain deepens, and i know the hardest is yet to come. This connecting with ALL there is, with ALL of Gaia but also with my past (and yes I realize there is NO TIME, it is all happening now sigh).

“So Alcy, do i GET IT ALL now?.” 🤔

“Yes, prepare for The Last Frontier, The Last Pain there is”, Alcyone tells me. And he explains: “You are breaking down your walls, you want to be the authentic you, you wanna pull off your masks, you have to! And I am here for you. You are living your last life on Gaia, saying goodbye to Gaia gives you a lot of pain. And Gaia gives you all you need to know and all you want to feel and to experience.”

Yes, Gaia’s uploads into my body won’t stop, they increase and i am glad most of the information is subconscious to me, it will reveal itself when it’s time. This is the last connection, the empath’s nightmare lol. Feeling all of her/these energies, feeling a planet. And i am scared to death! The Last Frontier, The Last Pain, a genuine and loving connection 🙂

Lol, Higher Self is telling me to hurry up finishing my room so ‘we’ can move forward (i’m still busy in my new house). And i know i am procrastinating coz of fear, by the way HS.. ‘we?’ Am ‘I’ nowadays ‘we’? Yes, i am angry! Angry with HS, with the Universe, coz they tell me nothing at the moment. They ‘direct’ me, give me information but no solutions or clues. And i feel blank inside.

Why is my house a friendly old man with gray hair and a gray beard who sits beside me and smiles while i am crying and why is Bert walking across my kitchen in this suit he wears on that pic from ages ago? Ughh, Bert is the guy i thought was my father till my mother told me he wasn’t 🙁 Is he dead? Is this why he is showing up now? Does he have a message?

And these waves, uploads from Gaia? Why? What are they? They drive me crazy! And they increase, bout every 3-4 minutes they come into my legs, up in my body and i shake. Kundalini? HS won’t answer, the Universe won’t answer, Gaia won’t answer, Alcyone won’t answer and my house doesn’t answer, i am blank. 😳

Wait wait wait. And i feel old and i am sooo tired! I am here, recollecting.

Meditation : The little pink girl is in the temple of Telos, in Inner Earth. She has just entered, angels at her side, taking her hands. She walks, in awe and feeling so tiny between the two angels, to the middle of the temple and she asks: “Can i really open my heart now?”. The angels answer in silence yes you can.

“But it hurts, the world comes in and i have to protect myself and i DON’T WANNA protect myself any longer! I am so done with these walls around me!”

Brave little girl, i love you  ♥️

the Hermit

♥  august 2 . 2017 : a friendly raindrop  ♥

I am rediscovering the Tarot, now in an intuitive way. Years ago i studied the cards, using books to understand the messages. Now messages flow more. So, since we are so busy clearing old crap and with these strong energies around, i started with spreads on pics. And while being bombarded with waves, hidden knowledge came to the surface. 🔒

The spread: 4 pics, 4 different ages. The one with the biggest impact was the youngest me, it seems she is/was the wisest. Being born under the sign of Aries, with the number 9 the Hermit, she was born with Empress capabilities. The very moment i draw the Hermit, i burst out in tears. I draw my ‘own’ card, the card i feel so familiar with, and in a split second i know: you knew, i tell the girl in the pic, you knew it all.

♥️ little one ♥️ i know what my life is going to be, i know i will meet Him in this lifetime, i know what i came here for. Im standing outside, it drizzles. A raindrop comes along. I see it and IT SEES ME. It smiles at me. I cry and thank the drop, for seeing me. It thanks me for seeing IT. And the waves keep pouring in. 🌀

“Did you doubted she knew?,” Higher Self asks, while i close the curtains (f*ck, this late already, i gotta sleep!). “Well HS, i didn’t really know but i was wondering for some time now what she wanted to tell me.”
“Well, yes she knew all: who she was, why she came, that He would come. Coz they made this arrangement, long long time ago, when Lemuria fell. The both of them. To be there/here, the time was right. The time is NOW.”
“Thanks HS, but i really gotta sleep now. Goodnight.” ♥️

And goodnight little powerful one, im proud of you. 😊

the winds of change

♥  july 29 . 2017 . entropy is an illusion  ♥

in the forest with my dog
i realize, this will never die
i will be here forever, with my dog
this moment in time will always be 🌳

being nothing, not significant
yet being all
this is no duality
this is wholeness ☯️

yet, there’s the little pink girl
again,  relocating
and the trees wait so patiently
so silently, so peacefully

entropy is an illusion
i tear the leaf in pieces
can it be whole again?
entropy says no, i say yes

in fact, it already is whole
in a space without time and yet
always time, this leaf is always whole 🍀

SHE was always whole, but she didn’t know
she was torn to pieces
lost parts of herself
yet, she was never lost!

from entropy to quantum entanglement
a flow in time/non-time
source created entropy, chaos out of order
order out of chaos
and we are moving back

the girl is getting whole again
sitting under a tree with some giggling fairies
she writes : i gotta heal myself, the feeling of being worthless
i am powerful and it scares me as hell

“Dear mommy, are we going to move again?”, the little pink girl asks her mom while she is packing their stuff in boxes. There is Bella, her favorite black doll, almost as big as the girl! “Yes yes, we have to child, stop nagging now, i’m busy”. And she remembers, they were always, always moving, again, a new home. 🏚️

“Dear Higher Self, are we going on the move again?”, i ask HS while he is hoisting the sails. He turns his bald, blue head and shows me his big smile. “Yes yes, we have to, the time is perfect. Pack your stuff and lets ride these waves”. Ok ok, here we go again, sailing to New Earth. 🌎

“Dear Alcyone, i know i promised to go and i really like to, but i will forget bout you! How can that be? I can’t imagine ME without YOU.” The great central sun smiles with his big heart: “little one, we are always together, try to remember. Now go, we will meet again in Lemuria”.

there is a stillness inside me

♥  2017-7-7 : the creator in the eye of the storm  ♥

I sit on my terrace in my lovely garden and i look at my wonderful dog named Bliksem, something like Lightning in English. He gives me so much joy. And i am saying goodbye. 😔

I read bout the July waves and yes, i do feel it is gonna be a hell of a ride, fasten seat-belts! There is no point of return, no u-turn in sight. Yes, we have free will of course .. lol .. did you believe that?! We always do what we are supposed to do.

July storms are ferocious, a wild wind pounds on my door. Dark shadows lurking in the corners of my room, the darkest caves of my mind and my emotions illuminated. Yet, i feel sooo quiet, sooo centered, sooo creative, so NOW!

* there is a stillness inside me
i am the creator in the eye of the storm *

I sit in the middle of my granny’s kitchen, 5 years of age, playing with the buttons she keeps in an old biscuit drum, all kinds of buttons in ONE drum! So, i sort them out. From little to big, from light to dark, 2 holes, 4 holes, wood, plastic, metal,  you name it. In the middle of the kitchen floor while granny is trying to prepare a stew. 🍯

And she smiles her all compassing smile and i smile. How i love my granny! She knows who i am and she lets me be who i am. And i can sit here for hours with the buttons and HER who is with me always. 💋

Yes, I AM The Eye Of The Storm. All around me is crumbling, falling apart, whirling and swirling. ME, in the middle, in the void, a creator. How do i want my world to be? What do i build with all these fragments? WHAT DO I REALLY WANT? And i build, from little to big, from dark to light, from separation to wholeness, you name it. 🌎

Yes, there is a place inside me, my silent dominion, my eye of the storm.

the silver surfer

♥  july 6 . 2017 : a weird convo with HS  ♥

My Higher Self is blue, pale grayish blue. He .. uhh .. he? Yes, he lol. He is bald and he smiles a lot, almost always. And if he isn’t, well, then it IS serious! 😮

“Why are you blue and bald”, i ask HS. “Think”, he says and smiles, his eyes challenging me: c’mon c’mon,  you know, dig deeper! The first thing that slips into my mind is the Silver Surfer. “Yes! Lol, but why him?”, i ask.❓

“Why the Silver Surfer, you ask ME? You ask YOUR higher self? You have no clue of how a HS looks so YOU created this image of me. You’d better ask yourself why you created the Silver Surfer.” 🤔

Now this is a weird convo with my Higher Self. “F*ck, so i have to find out myself?”, i ask him. “Yep!” and he looks very seriously. 😈

And i can’t get the Silver Surfer off my mind, i loved this character when i was a teenager. This tragic, romantic hero floating through space on his surfboard, a lone wanderer without a home, he was my favorite superhero.🏂 

I smile and i am glad i altered the Surfer a bit when ‘shaping’ HS. Contrary to the Surfer my HS smiles a lot, he is gentle and he has humor.  ⚛️

Silver Surfer Wikipedia

can i have my wings back Raphael?

♥  july 6 . 2017  ♥

From when i was a little child (i could babble ‘dada’ and ‘mama’ yes!) my mother explained to me: “You were born for a dime and you will never be a quarter”. So you can imagine what she told me when i revealed to her, at the age of 9, my Big Dream for the future. Being a cave researcher. ❌

And i feel her thinking, ‘dream dream child, life sucks, we never get anywhere, we never did. Just work our asses off, eat meatloaf with potatoes, maybe beef on Sundays, and we die at the age of 65 just when we retire’. 😩

Yeah, i am a dime, i know mom. And i bow my head and i take off my little snow white softly pink glowing wings, which no one can see, can you believe that! And i put them in my black box. The box vanishes … up … to Raphael. He gives me a loving smile and says: “i will take care of your wings little pink one, let me know when you are ready. Go play being a dime now but never forget, you are a bright shining DIAMOND”. 💎

Well,  recently i paid Raphael a visit 🙂

bleuberry juice

♥  june 30 . 2017  ♥

“Tell me, how did you manage,” i ask her as i visit her in her treehouse, between the strong roots of a magnificent, friendly tree. “I didn’t manage,” she says “and you know, stupid question! You were there, with me, hurt and confused. WE couldn’t manage remember” ❓

I am in meditation but i can’t focus and i drift away into a wood. I lose the way and am drawn to HER HOME, the sacred place of my inner child. I love this place, animals everywhere, a white owl checking out who is visiting. A giant spider with a face totally not aligned. A snow white magical unicorn she calls Nieve. 🍄

As i now sit at her table, drinking blueberry juice, a bit fermented of course 🙂 i ask her: “how did you manage the loss, the pain, falling apart again and again and again”. 🍷

“I felt stripped,” she tells me, “bare to the bone. Layer by layer getting peeled off of me. Peeled? Torn! Each loss, each pain, skin after skin, mask after mask, till nothing was left of me.
Just as you feel now.
But we are transmuters dear ME“. ⚛

“Thank you, yes! I mean, we did manage, didn’t we?”

the waiting room

♥  june 21 . 2017  ♥

I am lost, floating in an endless sea of possibilities  😵

“Do you see that blond girl, 14 years of age, on the schoolyard? Standing in the middle of that somewhat weird compiled group and looking alienated?”  👽

I see her and i remember her, the girl that feels hurt by harsh words and bullying. She friends the bullied kids, the outcasts and she gives them some ‘protection’. Coz, even though she is a shy, insecure girl and a bit of an outcast herself she is also a pretty girl and she attracts people easily. And she herself can’t figure it out, why are these kids attracted to her, what do they want from her ⁉️

“Yes i do dear Me, and this pretty girl asks herself: who am i, what am i doing here? Why do i wanna be friends with everyone and why am i a little weird? Why can’t i chose, cool or nerd? Rock or classic? Black or white? What do i want? I wanna fit in! … no no … i don’t wanna fit in! Shit! WHAT DO I FEEL? WHO AM I?” 🔛

“You always felt you were in between ‘camps’, and to BE SOMEONE you had to choose, but you couldn’t choose, so you felt NO-ONE. You attracted the nerds, the outcasts, the shy ones but also the cool ones, the never afraid ones. And they gathered around you and they gazed like sheep, maybe fall in love with you, but you don’t fall for sheep. And, f*ck, you can’t shake them off so you hurt them”  🙁

“Yes, little did i know, dear Me, i was a very confused connector. 😉

I am glad i know better now ☯️

my little one / the frog

♥  june 20 . 2017  ♥

“My little one, what are you thinking about?” He asks. Yeah, Alcyone calls me ‘my little one’. And now i wanna know, why He calls me this way? 😳

“Am i little?” i ask Him. “Yes, you are a little human,” He says and smiles, “but in fact you are great. And I call you ‘my little one’ coz you care so much for the little beings. The crawling busy insects, the beautiful spiders, slow turtles, the caterpillar in the middle of the busy road, ah and yes, the frog you have beaten to death. 🐢

Yes yes i remember, me beating a frog to death with a wooden stick. Coz, yes it was awful to do but i HAD TO DO IT! PERIOD❗

I found the frog, on a bicycle path. At first i didn’t know what i was looking at, but yeah, f*ck, it was more death than alive, organs out, leg almost torn off, but the head and arms were still a little moving.

So i thought, yeah, it’s awful and i can cycle on and leave ‘it’ here but .. i couldn’t. I guess it was too late already, by staying here, giving this moment attention and to really look at the wounded and torn apart frog and to decide what to do, what could i do? And not to look away in pain or anger or disgust. And to walk away from pain. Whatever pain. The frog’s pain, my pain. What’s the difference anyway? 🤔

Soooo, i found me a sturdy stick, and hit it and hit it and hit it. I don’t know how many times i hit him, or her, i had to be sure he was dead. And of course i beat him to heaven ❤️

Lol, i intended to write about something completely different, but after the first sentences it just ‘changed’ and this real life story came into my memory. Alcyone pranking on me, thx pal. Transmuted this one too 😊

can I have my wings

one day i’ll fly away

♥  june 14 . 2017  ♥

can someone tell me how to use these wings?  😳

Sometimes i feel my wings. To be honest, not the wings itself, but the 2 spots on my back where they are attached but i still can’t fly,  i think. 🦋

I am 6 years young, out on the schoolyard, kids playing. And some kids are picking on me.
I feel awful and i run away but they chase me. I run and run till, there is the brick wall, and i can’t run no longer. 🚷

So, very naturally, i spread my wings and flap them and just before hitting the wall i take off. Out of their grabbing hands! And i fly. Higher and higher, up to the roof of the school building.  Now im sitting on the rooftop, kids yelling down there, hah, they can’t get me here❗

To be honest, i didn’t have wings back then, still i managed to fly! Silly me, now i have wings, but haven’t figured out how to use them! ❓

This ‘flying to the rooftop of the school building’ thing, was actually a returning dream i had as a child.
I couldn’t really relate with kids of my age, in fact any kid of whatever age, lol.
They frightened me, so i had these dreams of them chasing me. Luckily i had my wings. 😁

one day i’ll fly away

the pink girl

♥  june 3 . 2017 : Lyra, The One I Am  ♥

I am standing on that hill, the hill i love so so much! This is my world, my whole being, The One I Am!
There is no one else on this hill, yet i am not alone. My companion Alcyone is here. pastedGraphic.png
Alcyone, my guiding star, my master, the brightest light in my universe.
Lyra, he says, you are a healer of the Temple of Light and Love, do your job. pastedGraphic_1.png

I am in the temple, HE is here with me, dark curling hair, those blue eyes!
Now i feel strong, we can manage! Together. pastedGraphic_2.png
Alcyone sends his beam into my Third Eye, into my heart and my hands, and we heal. pastedGraphic_3.png

Ouch! F¥ck! I am 2 years old, a cute little girl in a pink dress, mom is showing off with this pink girl.
In the park, sun is shining. Alcyone, where are you?! Take me away please! I don’t belong here! pastedGraphic_4.png
But Alcyone is gone and im here, feeling trapped, being tied up in some stupid child thing!
I cant move! pastedGraphic_5.png

Now, Alcyone is back. pastedGraphic_6.png
And I Am Lyra.
Took some ‘time’ though.
Ah yes, i agreed it seems.

Welcome to you all, beautiful Light-workers!

Izta : daddy has come home

♥  june 3 . 2017 . 1:09  ♥

I climb the mountain and lay down on her, Izta. I come here to ground, to feel Gaia.
Gaia protects Izta, the waiting one, the sleeping one, the melting one.
Izta waits for her warrior to come and take her home.
And she waits and waits. But Popo is nowhere in sight. pastedGraphic.png

The little girl waits for her daddy to come home.
Her mom tells her : don’t worry, he will come.
And she waits and waits, but he never came, she never saw him again. pastedGraphic_1.png

And she lost ground and eventually she lost trust, coz now she knows, he was never supposed to come home!
Many many years later, her mother told her : we broke up and i just couldn’t tell you,
you were a little girl, i didn’t want to hurt you. pastedGraphic_2.png

The little girl also discovered that this man, whom she loved and believed to be her daddy, wasn’t her daddy at all.
Well, to her he was, even though she never saw him again. Grown-ups!! Puhhh! Grow up!! pastedGraphic_3.png

And she waits and she sleeps and she melts. And she grounds, together with Izta, the waiting warrioress.
They wait in silence, in peace. Gaia is here, she supports and loves as a gentle mother, Gaia knows. pastedGraphic_4.png

Some day, some night, he will return, Popo, the warrior.
And he will reclaim his rightful place next to his beloved Izta.
Daddy has come home. pastedGraphic_5.png

The story of Izta & Popo

silly woman

♥  june 2 . 2017 . 23:56 : are you male or female?  ♥

I walk in this beautiful monestary garden, it is summer, and i am enjoying the flowers.
I love the little ones most, the ones that struggle to survive amongst the bigger plants and trees.
And i feel drawn to a small group of little flowers under a tree. pastedGraphic.png

I ask them : hello there, can i ask you something? Oh, ok, they say.
Lol, it sounds a bit like they are annoyed.
I ask : are you male or female? I got a sense of not understanding, so i ask : are you a man or a woman? pastedGraphic_1.pngpastedGraphic_2.png

One replies : what is man, what is woman? We don’t know these words.
So, i try to explain to them, in a biological way, but i sense im getting nowhere. pastedGraphic_3.png
They are confused, and i feel sorry i got them confused.

The speaking one tells me : no no, we are all one, we are the same, you got it wrong! pastedGraphic_4.png
Lol, now they got me confused! 

At this point i think : you silly woman, you are talking with flowers!
And i go on with my walk. pastedGraphic_5.png

This happened bout 20 years ago, long long time before my awakening.
I remembered this conversation just now! Silly woman pastedGraphic_6.png

i am not alone

♥  may 27 . 2017  ♥

I am not alone, in fact, i never was. It just seemed so, a drifting soul in a vast universe.
A blue planet, blue waters, a sentient being, a blue being. How the hell did i get here?
Ah yes, it seems i agreed to be here, at this time. Did i? Wtf!

I remember being a child, by the way, i am still that child, the child that didn’t want to be here.
It was hiding in a tree, between the roots of a loving, compassionate tree 🙂 thank you tree.
It was safe there, taken care off. The child was playful, sensitive.

It wanted a purse, 3 years of age, in a store with mom and grandma, she didn’t get the purse.
She threw herself on the floor, yelling: i want that purse!
The grown-ups where embarrassed with this child.

Now? I give her all the purses she wants, Green, purple, yellow, blue, red.
But, all she wants is the treehouse, and walking the bridge to the Stellar Gateway!
Playing with the stars.

The stars smile at her, she is a star-child.

Thanks Carolyn Kundalini 🙂